mei-fern.blogspot.com

Why are you still here? When there's nothing left to wait for?

That was what how I titled the photo above when I took it a few months back.

And for now I have nothing left to say.

I've moved.

mei-fern.blogspot.com

No reason why, except that some things have to be.
And some places are too weighed down by misery for you to stay.
This blog's been good to me (as stupid as I'm starting to sound now).
It's seen me through the most painful times.
But now that it's time to leave some things behind, it feels wrong to continue writing here.

So here I go. =)
New year, new blog, new space.
And most of all I think, new hope.

Every new beginning is another beginning's end.

2010.
Heal.
Please.


Happy New Year all! =)
Loads of love + hugs + kisses.

You know how Freud talked about penis envy?
Well this girl made me have writer envy.

XD

Once in a while I come across the occasional writer whose blog makes me want to go back again and again and again.
Some people just brim over with so much beauty, I think.

Not gonna lie. Still hurts like a bitch. But I'm okay.

Read a book when you're 18 and read it again when you're 20.
It'll feel as though you're reading the book for the first time.
Everything seems different; the characters, their thoughts, the underlying nuances and themes.

Crazy, really. When you think of how much change can take place within 2 years.
Now, whenever I think about her, I hardly recognize my 18 year old self.

I have 90 bucks worth of Borders vouchers unused.
I've been anticipating book shopping for a while now.
I'm terribly excited. *rubs hands in glee*

Automatic Loveletter

Each time I rediscover Automatic Loveletter, I fall in love all over again.
They're just one of those things, you know.
That no matter how many others you might come across, no matter how much more talented or better they may be, there is just no comparing.

Apparently I window shop not just in malls.

It's been a long time since I last took one of those online personality tests.
I came across one from someone's blog quite by chance.

Loving, hopeful, open. Likely to carry on an romance from afar. You are The Window Shopper.

You take love as opportunities come, which can lead to a high-anxiety, but high-flying romantic life. You’re a genuinely sweet person, not saccharine at all, so it’s likely that the relationships you have had and will have will be happy ones. You’ve had a fair amount of love experience for your age, and there’ll be much more to come.

Part of why we know this is that, of all female types, you are the most prone to sudden, ferocious crushes. Your results indicate that you’re especially capable of obsessing over a guy you just met. Obviously, passion like this makes for an intense existence. It can also make for soul-destroying letdowns.

Your ideal match is someone who’ll love you back with equal fire, and someone you’ve grown to love slowly. A self-involved or pessimistic man is especially bad. Though you’re drawn to them, avoid artists at all costs.

Hmm... All I can say is I've always wanted to date an artist.
The idea of having someone that's all passion and fire is extremely appealing, no?
Then again, the results are probably right. Artsy fartsy = overly emotional and prone to depression (obviously, I'm subscribing to the stereotype of an artist).
We'd kill each other, no doubt.

...

Damn.
There goes my dating-an-artist fantasy.

Christmas. And here I am, taking online quizzes.
*click* if you're interested in testing the quiz out yourself. ;)
And do tell me your results. Ho ho.

December.

A little bit of what my December has been like.

Lunch with Jilly on her second last day of work.

She caved, and had a lunch time beer. Ho ho.

Sammi, I'm still waiting for the rest of the photos. =D



Baking with Seok Yee, Sammi and Li Nar.
We (them) made chicken pie and choc chip cookies.

It really didn't turn out that bad actually.
A little tweaking here and there and the pie would have been close to perfect.


The past couple of days, I've been back in the hometown.
Out of my four days there I think I spent a good two days in bed sleeping.
I finally dragged myself out and about when Jilly made an impromptu drive up to Penang with a friend of hers.
Completely random, but also completely what I needed. A little visit to push me into joining the waking people around me again.

I also met up with Denise for dinner my last night on the island.
She's leaving for NZ in Febuary so I'm really, really glad we had a chance to catch up before she leaves. =)
This long time friendship is something I'm extremely grateful for.
In the 13 years we've known each other, we've spent more years apart than living together in the same city.
So yes, I do think it's quite a miracle we're still keeping in touch.
Have fun in NZ, you. =D It'll be exciting I'm sure.

I don't have photos with me from my trip back to Penang though Jill has some so we shall wait for that.
I do have a couple though from lunch before we left for KL.

If any of you are ever in Penang, here's a good place to try.
Salsas on Upper Penang Road.
Their menu is extensive. And I mean that whole heartedly.
Just for lunch alone, they had a complete list from A - Z (literally) of main courses to choose from.
That's 26 different choices. Talk about being spoilt for choice.
Lunch comes in a set. So everyone gets soup/salad, main course (26 choices), dessert and a drink.
The surprise is that the food was really good (the pumpkin soup that came with the set lunch is to die for).
The best part is that it's completely affordable.
Completely.
They make KL look like a bitch of a place with overpriced AND lousy food.
No offense, I do love KL myself.


I fully intend to go back for dinner the next time I'm back on the island.
Photos below.

The place is called Salsas. Remember the name. ;)

This makes me think they probably had a lot of noisy, bratty kids running around.
So much so they had to put a sign on every table to politely warn parents.
I found it very amusing, though the inappropriate capital letters scattered all over the sign did annoy me a little bit.

Photo of dessert.
You even get 3 different types of dessert!
Considering the price you pay, presentation of food was really good, I thought.

I only have one photo of the food because I've always found it extremely awkward to photograph my meals.
I have many friends who love documenting their food though it's something I've never quite understood.
For some reason, I find the thought of food-photo-snapping extremely embarassing.
Needless to say, I will never be a food blogger. XD

There you go.
Upper Penang Road. ;)
Make Salsas your next pit stop the next time you're in Penang.

A couple more plans for December before everyone wraps up 2009.
At this point, I am completely grateful I have people planning this, that or the other and including me in their plans.
It's the only thing really, that stops me going completely bonkers.

Everyone's asking me to leave.
We find solutions from the majority, I suppose.

Someone you're not. But if that's who you have to be for now, so be it.

With everyone home and leaving again soon, us girls have been spending a lot of time together recently.
But like Seok Yee said, "seems like this time we're all spending time together more than usual".
I feel it too, and I wonder why.
Probably because everyone's in a 'phase'.
But no complaints. Good company has never hurt.

Pictures are from Sid's a couple of weeks ago.

I like this one. =D

Plans tomorrow include breakfast and baking.
Fern baking? =O
We'll see how it goes. ;)

December has always been a crazy month of reunions.
It's always so good to meet up with people you have not seen in ages and catch up on what everyone's been up to.

I made a couple of plans for this month.
Mostly out of desperation to fool myself into life again.
Forced enthusiasm.
Maybe the results will genuinely excite me, eh?

I'm not afraid of what life has in store for me.
I'm afraid of myself and how I might treat what life decides to give me.

But you know, despite whining and being pathetic (in your words), I'll be okay.
Because this isn't going to define me.
It isn't going to be my life's story.
I refuse to let it be.

I keep forgetting, but I deserve better.
So yes, I will be okay.

New Year's resolutions are rolling in already.
I don't think I'll be making any this time.
Come what may. Though fingers crossed for a lot of peace this time around.

I've been spending a lot of time with the girls lately.
All I can say is this - thank you for your time, the ears and the beers (not that we drink that much, it just rhymes =P).
And thank you for not judging. Ever.

I'm not in the habit of making Christmas wishlists because it's not tradition for me to celebrate Christmas.
But I thought it might be nice to compile a list this year. Just for fun.
So here goes.


1.
Canon EOS 5D Mark II

While this isn't an entry level (or intermediate level for that matter) camera, I find myself with an unhealthy lust over this baby. I know I've always said that I don't much like the fact that new DSLRs now have live view modes and can capture videos (because then it feels as though it's just like any digital compact).
But you know what? Times change, things change. It's just like how some photographers maintain that Photoshop is evil. And anyway, in a couple of years, ALL DSLRs are going to have live view modes AND video capture features. So just embrace that change and all the good things that come with it, yes?
This camera takes beautiful videos by the way. Mmm.... so good.

On a side note, I collected my 400D from Canon today.
It is once again in perfect working condition. =D


2.
Starbucks' Toffee Nut Latte

I still haven't had the opportunity to stop by Starbucks and get myself one of their Toffee Nut Lattes. *curses*
And time is running out since they only have Toffee Nut Lattes once a year.
That's it. Operation 'Get-A-Toffee-Nut-Latte' is now on!
Unless someone would be so kind to run down to Starbucks for me? =D


3.
For my tailbone injury to 'uninjure'. -.-

A couple of weeks ago, I hurt my tailbone.
Apparently tailbone injuries are more common in females than males because our tailbones stick out more. Didcha know?
The point is, I hurt mine a couple of weeks ago and it was fine. Until a couple of days later when it started to bug me.
And it's STILL bugging me.
I can't sit for prolonged periods of time without it hurting like a bitch.
It's literally a pain in the arse.
And I get cranky when I can't sit. I mean, who doesn't?
I'm now beginning to wonder if maybe what I thought of as a 'minor injury' might be something bigger after all. =/
Apparently tailbones DO fracture.
Okay. I shall stop now. Because I'm scaring myself.
Let's just hope my coccyx (I've missed this word from Bio classes) stops hurting me soon. =D


So that's it.
My Christmas wishes for this year.
If I could have numbers 2 and 3, I'd be happy enough.
It don't take much to make me happy these days.
What's yours, hm?